The Serenity Prayer

 Dear Spiritual Family,

When I was little, my two favorite words were “no” and “why?” It was an ongoing test of patience for my parents, especially my mother. When my “whys” were used up for the day, I switched to “how come?” Strong-willed and precocious, I remember having a tantrum and Mom trying to explain to me how things would not always go my way. I thought: “that sounds terrible!” Mom was happy to send me off to kindergarten early, as one of the youngest kids in the class.

As the oldest of four siblings, the family completed before I turned six, the lesson that team dynamics must predominate over personal desires became part of life! I did not like it. And I dare say that children from larger families understand this reality much better than those in which couples are merely replacing themselves for the next generation. My buddy, Tim, remarked once that things change a lot when parents must switch from man-on-man to zone.

Mom was right. A great many things were not going to go my way. A generation later, my brother Sean and his wife Alison describe their children as having a “strong dose of Wilson” in them. What can I say, “It runs in the family!” Being strong-willed is both a strength and a weakness. When there is need to push forward with a project or idea, energy is present to move it along, but it has proven likewise invaluable for me to learn how to listen, how to seek consensus, and to take the good from multiple perspectives and try to arrive at something much greater than my personal vantage point.

One prayer that has really helped me to pause and allow God to be God, to recall that Someone much greater than I is at the helm of the ship of my life and indeed of the whole universe, is the Serenity Prayer. Mom taught it to me when I was maybe twelve:

“God grant me the Serenity
to accept the things I cannot change
the Courage to change the things I can
and Wisdom to know the difference.”

~Reinhold Niebuhr, Lutheran theologian (1892–1971)

Serenity, wisdom, and courage are three virtues that help us to pause, ponder and persevere. Serenity, peace or equanimity must be the foundation, and with wisdom the courage to push forward is properly applied. When I was a teenager, this prayer, among others caused me to pause and reflect. 

This week begins our Stewardship Message Series, called “Confessions of a Control Freak.” It is slightly autobiographical, and with some personal soul-searching, you will probably find some controlling attitudes or behaviors in yourself as well. When we do not “get our way” sometimes we can “freak out,” although that might look quite different than a child’s tantrum. 

There are many aspects of life that we would prefer to control, but which are beyond our control. We can seldom change what others think of us, or control how they perceive us, as we see in the powerful Gospel this week! Truth is, mostly we can only change ourselves - and that is hard work! And often, even changing ourselves is beyond us. Just take a gander at Bartimaeus. His healing is beyond his own capacity. Instead, we see how he ignores what the crowd thinks, and what they think of him, and reaches out for divine assistance in faith. He shows the courage to put all else aside and cry out to Jesus for aid. Very often, we need to rely on God’s grace, on His transformative power, to heal, restore, fashion, to recreate us. One of the lovely details in this account is how after Bartimaeus is cured. He begins to follow Jesus along the way. Bartimaeus becomes a disciple, a Christ-follower.

This week, I invite you to sit with the Gospel and find your place in the story. Where do you fit in? Then sit with the Serenity Prayer, seeking out that peace, the foundation of navigating a path through life with wisdom and courage. Above all, pray for divine assistance!

Wishing you the courage to cry out for Jesus,
Fr. Joel