Bending the Ear

Dear Parish Family,

Growing up, some elders would take to using my ear for leverage, literally grabbing and twisting it! That will get your attention. And I deserved it, mostly. Did you know it only takes eight pounds of pressure to remove an ear…who knew?! I may have used the same line, many years later, as the uncle of an energetic nephew. Intriguing the things we remember, repeat, and pass on.

The beginning of the Rule of Saint Benedict, a way of life for tens of 1000s of holy men and women seeking to fully consecrate themselves to God, begins with the exhortation to bend the ear of your heart to the precepts of a loving Father. Benedict permeates his Rule with the Sacred Scriptures, weaving the words throughout seamlessly, a quilt of Scripture applied to life. Here, the exhortation from Proverbs 4:20-21 echoes. Both call for attentiveness and obedience, a readiness to follow the ways of another, and holding second our own will.

One of the key words is obedience, from the Latin meaning to bend to hear. One can picture a younger person leaning over the whispering counsel of an older mentor, to receive instruction, trusting implicitly that what the teacher would say would be as honey to the tongue rich and sweet. Would it not be wonderful if we could cultivate such docility and attention in our children, as we honor the Feast Day of the Holy Family!

The Gospel for this feast is interesting! The fifth Joyful Mystery: Finding of Jesus in the Temple, which honestly as a parent, I would not find particularly joyful. If you are unfamiliar, it is worth the read (Lk 2:41ff). As a twelve year old boy (such a hard age), Jesus remains behind alone in Jerusalem while his parents, Joseph and Mary, head north back home. Let’s not forget that because of the threat on Jesus’ life, Joseph fled to Egypt with his young bride and son shortly after Jesus was born (check out Mt 2:13-21). The family is familiar with unsettling situations.

Only on the third day did Mary and Joseph find their Son, gathered with the elders in the temple, where Jesus does not apologize for going missing, nor beg forgiveness for causing such anxiety, but instead says, “Did you not know that I would be in my Father’s house?”  Twelve is such a hard age! Maybe an ear was pulled?

I would have loved to have been witness to the moment when His adventure began, that crossroads of decision where Jesus decided to remain in the Temple rather than head home with Mom and Dad. I wonder if He had gone there early on the morning of departure only to get caught up in prayer and learning. He lost track of time and when it was too late, he just thought it would be better to stay put and wait to be found. But… three days? Luke tells us that after this, He came with them to Nazareth and was obedient to them. 

Whereas at that crossroads, His ear and heart were bent to the Will of the Heavenly Father, now it seems He always keeps an ear poised to his earthly parents.  The account teaches a ton, but two things briefly: first, obedience is a virtue to which we all must be attentive according to our state of life. Bending our ears and hearts to the will of another, God’s will, is something for all to remember. Second, family life is messy. Even the Holy Family had their “moments,” so as families we must all appreciate that moments of trial and anxiety will be a part of life. The key is what we do with them. Do we lean on the Lord, bending our hearts to seek to walk in His ways?

2025 will soon be here! I am lifting you up in prayer to the Holy Family during these days of Christmas! It is such a wonderful season to spend among family and friends, hopefully enjoying each other’s presence, making memories, and sharing moments. (And while our loved ones often bring out the best in us, that deeply sacrificial love, they can also bring out our less than best in the way they press our buttons!) I hope your time with family is full of eggnog and smiles!

Please join us for Mass on New Year’s Eve or Day, as we commemorate Mary the Mother of God. This is a wonderful Solemnity to entrust our family into the care of our Mother. Begin this New Year in prayer, gathered as family, seeking strength from the Holy Family, who knew trials and persevered.

With much love,
Fr. Joel