Freedom to Fly
Dear Parish Family,
During these first weeks of the new year, we are focusing on the family. Following our study of the Love Languages and our collective time with family and friends over the holidays, the family is a worthy theme to approach. What makes a family happy? Are there certain principles we can use as a template for every happy family? So far, we have presented three core principles or secrets: families are made for mission, family life is messy, and respect goes hand-in-hand with happiness in family life.
Last week, Jesus was baptized in the Jordan and heard the words: “You are my beloved son, with you I am well pleased!” (Lk 3:22). Every child longs to hear these or similar words from their father. We spoke of fatherhood and the power and significance of the blessing and approval that dads, and father figures, can impart to their children. Fathers have a special spiritual authority to show favor and encouragement.
This week, we find ourselves at a wedding, invited by Mary to Cana, to join in the feast (Jn 2:1-11). We discover before too long that this week-long party will end early and with great embarrassment for the couple, since they have run out of wine! Mother Mary, friend of the couple, seeks out her Son to resolve this problem. So, this week we are centered on mothers in family life.
This moment between Jesus and Mary relates to the greater mission. In a way, last week’s theophany shows how the Father begins to make public the special role of his Son, yet also in another way, we can appreciate how his Mother inaugurates his public ministry, bringing about through her plea, the first of Jesus’ public signs. The miracle of the wine is the first of Jesus’ miracles and a sign of the beauty, richness, and abundance of the new covenant which He will bring forth in his own blood. And Mary gives him a nudge. She brings the need to his attention. Jesus is reluctant but at the same time shows respect and obliges. We get the sense that He may have envisioned a different first sign. Together they alleviate a potentially messy situation in family life by providing about 150 gallons of “the good wine.” All three elements are present: the respect, the mission, and the mess… but also a lot of delicious wine!
If fathers are the source of authority and blessing in family life, mothers are surely the heart. It is amazing to consider that each child develops within the mother, so close to her heart, even before she is aware of the pregnancy. A woman becomes a mother even weeks before she knows that she is to be a mother. An innate connection exists between mother and child, which must be more intentional for dads. For example, kids recognize their own mother's voice in the womb. Mom’s scent is known as well. The heart beats of mother and child synchronize in utero and in close contact after birth.
This great connection can explain a mother’s great influence in the lives of her children. At times even a mother’s touch can be a bit too heavy, her love smothering a bit. It is delicate, but I would encourage all mothers and mother figures to be sure that they are not hovering a bit too close or steering their children too much from their own desires for their children rather than fostering their children’s innate desires. Sometimes our dreams for our kids are not their dreams for themselves. Mothers, and in fact all parents, eventually need to let the little ones leave the nest, to set them free, knowing that they are loved and cherished. The contrast of the Caged Bird is remarkable and not what one would hope for someone they love. So, love earnestly and yet with great freedom.
May God bless your goodness!
Fr. Joel
