Genuine Connection
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Friends in Christ,
As the Love Languages Advent Series reminded us, we are all made for love, to love and to be loved. That desire and need are carved into us, part of the fabric of our being. How we pursue or fulfill that desire makes a significant difference. These days when we think of love, Valentine’s Day having just passed, we can think more of Cupid and less of Christ. The more romantic and pleasure-seeking side of love can at times overshadow the deeper Christian sense of love, especially with our culture today.
At the same time in our world today, loneliness is epidemic. Anxiety and depression are on the rise. Part of what underpins that troubling trend is that we are seeking love, but looking for it in “all the wrong places” (thanks Johnny Lee!) And one of the wrong places is social media, a space where we look for affirmation and “likes” - to know that others think and care for us, but when in reality it does not really fill us. They do not really meet the need we have in our hearts for love and for genuine human connection.
Soul Work, Wk 1
holy habits
My Dear Parish Family,
Lent is much more than abstaining from chocolate or not eating meat on Friday. Lent is a season for metanoia - which literally means changing your mind. Not with respect to ice cream flavors but being renewed or made new of mind. We can also speak of it as a special season of conversion, meaning a turning of glance or focus.
Now if you are anything like my Dad - who takes Lent seriously - you give up similar things each year. My Dad usually gives up smoking, gambling, sweets, and he tries to pray the rosary each day. And for 40 days, his ways change. But throughout the year, those bad habits creep back in. And I am not trying to pick on him. But I think many of us are like that.
For my own part, last year I was engaged in Exodus 90, a 90 day program that had a ton of sacrifices: cold showers, no snooze button, no eating between meals, no sweet treats, no alcohol, daily prayer. And honestly, I felt better living out all those disciplines. They were good for me; but I could not continue the strict regimen.
The Greater Work of Ministry
Dear Friends,
Each year in February our Diocese of Trenton makes the Annual Catholic Appeal (ACA), an appeal to you to support the greater work and ministry in our four-county area. We benefit greatly from the ACA, although I do hear people hesitant to support it for various reasons. I have supported the appeal every year of my priesthood, since being ordained in 2009, because thanks to the appeal I was blessed to attend seminary and be ordained for service in the Church of the Diocese of Trenton.
Every path to the priesthood is unique, the hand of God ever-present. My road took a decisive turn in 2000 when attending the University of Virginia, I left one path to take up another. This led to me selling all that I had to follow Him, leaving family and my past life behind to join a new Carmelite foundation taking shape in Ohio. I ignored sage advice, but left everything to embrace this radical life on a farm, which led to me attending St. Vincent’s Seminary, a beautiful place still very special to me. Our Carmelite founder was caught up in that first wave of accusations against priests in 2003. The foundation failed. This was such a challenging time for me emotionally and spiritually. Dreams of Carmel dashed, I returned home, holding on to the conviction that if God were calling me to the priesthood, a path forward would be revealed.
Secrets of a Happy Family, Week 5
Greater Purpose
My Dear Spiritual Family,
Preparing couples for marriage is a hoot, full of challenges and joys. Exploring the meaning of marriage life together can be at the same time so deep and yet very concrete. Watching how two lives meld into one shared life and vision is deeply satisfying. (If you are recently engaged, please reach out! Contact us before you set a date. A year of preparation is typical.)
One of the aspects we stress is that marriage is a vocation, a specific calling from God, which is also the path to holiness for you. Marriage is also a Sacrament - a specific channel of God’s grace in the world. This truth informs one of our “secrets” of every happy family, which is that families are called to a greater purpose, beyond themselves. Families are made for mission.
Unfolding the Vision
My Dear Parish Family,
Our parish mission, discerned by the Pastoral Council in conjunction with leadership about five years ago, is “building up the Body of Christ.” In other words, we exist to build up the Church in our corner of the world.
That adventure begins with us following our Lord with all our heart, centering our lives on the Gospel, and being a light to those in darkness. We are challenged to live in hope and spread the joy of the Good News.
That adventure continues when we in turn make disciples, or form others in the faith. Not just the task of “professionals,” but the invitation for every Christ follower. Share the joy of the Gospel, the reason for the hope that lies within us! This first begins at home, handing on the faith to the next generation, right in our families. I am so grateful for family faith formation that we began here a few years ago, giving our families the opportunity to grow in the faith and nurture their faith together. This key aspect of parish life extends to preparing young people for Confirmation, our Youth Ministry, Small Groups, and OCIA (the process of coming into full communion with the Church, even embracing the faith for the first time). Sometimes called the Great Commission, making disciples is at the heart of what it means to be church (see Mt 28:16-20).
Secrets of a Happy Family, Week 4
Freedom to Fly
Dear Parish Family,
During these first weeks of the new year, we are focusing on the family. Following our study of the Love Languages and our collective time with family and friends over the holidays, the family is a worthy theme to approach. What makes a family happy? Are there certain principles we can use as a template for every happy family? So far, we have presented three core principles or secrets: families are made for mission, family life is messy, and respect goes hand-in-hand with happiness in family life.
Last week, Jesus was baptized in the Jordan and heard the words: “You are my beloved son, with you I am well pleased!” (Lk 3:22). Every child longs to hear these or similar words from their father. We spoke of fatherhood and the power and significance of the blessing and approval that dads, and father figures, can impart to their children. Fathers have a special spiritual authority to show favor and encouragement.
Secrets of a Happy Family, Week 3
Sunny Days
My Dear Family,
On our “snow day,” Monday, January 6th, I am reminded of a winter at Notre Dame when we did not see the sun for more than a month, just grey clouds and the skeletons of trees bitten by the wind and cold. Sure, the sun was back there somewhere behind the clouds, but we could not feel its rays. Then one day, bright blue skies and not a cloud in sight! I traversed the quad to the dining hall sans jacket, thinking it would be warm, only to be surprised to learn that it was the coldest day of all. But the shining sun, brilliant and bright, made all the difference.
Oftentimes, the face of the Father is like that. We might be aware of His presence but in a vague and cloudy way. We might even forget as each day passes in the monotony of routine. And then, in a moment, a clear light shines. Last week, at the 10am Mass, as the lector proclaimed, “your light has come, the glory of the Lord shines on you,” a light streamed across my face from one of the round windows in the sanctuary. Quite moved, I felt the true and real presence of God as Father, and thought of the star that guided the Magi to Bethlehem. The moment reminded me, too, of the words spoken today by the voice from heaven.
Epiphany House Blessing
Secrets of a Happy Family, Week 1
Bending the Ear
Dear Parish Family,
Growing up, some elders would take to using my ear for leverage, literally grabbing and twisting it! That will get your attention. And I deserved it, mostly. Did you know it only takes eight pounds of pressure to remove an ear…who knew?! I may have used the same line, many years later, as the uncle of an energetic nephew. Intriguing the things we remember, repeat, and pass on.
The beginning of the Rule of Saint Benedict, a way of life for tens of 1000s of holy men and women seeking to fully consecrate themselves to God, begins with the exhortation to bend the ear of your heart to the precepts of a loving Father. Benedict permeates his Rule with the Sacred Scriptures, weaving the words throughout seamlessly, a quilt of Scripture applied to life. Here, the exhortation from Proverbs 4:20-21 echoes. Both call for attentiveness and obedience, a readiness to follow the ways of another, and holding second our own will.
Love Languages, Week 2
Presence or Presents
My Dear Family,
Last week we introduced our theme of Love Languages for Advent, based on Gary Chapman’s work. He noticed that we express our love for one another in various ways that can be summarized into five key languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Gift Giving, and Physical Touch. He calls them “languages” because love is not always communicated as clearly as we hope. We each “speak” different love languages, so it is key for us to learn to speak the love language of the person we are trying to love. Communicating in their preferred “language” really makes that expression of love resonate with them. Please take a moment to take an online quiz or here.
As we prepare to welcome Christ Jesus at Christmas time, we are really preparing to open our hearts to receive the invisible love of God made visible and even physical in the One who takes to Himself our humanity to show us what love really is. When we look upon Jesus, we see Love in the flesh. We see what love looks like in His words and deeds. Every gesture reveals what love is. Hence, our focus on learning how to better give and receive love during this season, not specifically romantic love, but from all our relationships.
Love Languages, Week 3
What Should We Do?
My Dear Friends,
We are now in the third week of preparations for the arrival of the Babe of Bethlehem, Love incarnate! And this weekend we bring all our baby Jesus’ from our home manger for a blessing. In a way, to take a bit of the blessing from Church and bring it back home, to your home church (ecclesia domestica) so that the peace of the season can flow from the altar all the way to your manger at home.
We have been studying and hopefully growing in our ways to both give and receive love, by using the five love languages (thanks Gary Chapman). If this message is speaking to you, dive deeper by picking up the book most applicable to your reality.
It is crucial to remember that the way we prefer to give love may not be the way our loved ones prefer to receive it. And if we really want that person to know and feel the love we have for them, we ought to communicate our love in their language. True lovers learn the language of the other. Which could mean giving a hug or massage when we are not in the mood, a word of encouragement when we do not feel like it, or selecting a gift even if it does not come naturally to us. All for the sake of communicating in the preferred language of the other. This reality is applicable, with adaptations, to all relationships.
Love Languages, Week 4 & 5
Kaleidoscope of Love
Dear Friends,
Greetings and Merry Christmas! Well, we are not quite there yet, but it's just around the corner. And by the time I write again, it will be the Feast of the Holy Family. I want to make sure that you know that we all wish you a beautiful Christmas! May it be full of love as we welcome the One who is Love Himself into our midst as a beautiful little baby. Jesus is truly God-with-us (Emmanuel) right in our midst.
This weekend, as we enter into the final days of Advent, Luke recounts for us a beautiful and intimate moment between Mary and Elizabeth (Lk 1:39-45). We can surmise that this account comes from Mother Mary herself, looking back at all that happened to her and recounting her visit with Zechariah and Elizabeth. And in this moment, see all the love languages present from their moment of greeting and embrace to the encouraging words shared with each other. There were many acts of service in preparation for the arrival of John the Baptist, countless hours spent together, and over all that, the gift of the presence of the Spirit.
Love Languages, Week 1
Preparing for Love Incarnate
Dear Friends,
I wish you a happy and blessed Advent, as we prepare our hearts and homes to welcome the gift of Jesus at Christmas!
Clever Saint Bernard describes, not one, but the “three comings” of Christ. Jesus comes “in history, in mystery and majesty.” Jesus arrives into the world on that fateful night in the cave outside Bethlehem; He comes into our lives now - especially through the Sacrament of the Eucharist; and He will come at the end of time to judge the world. Each arrival requires preparation, an open and willing heart, and a joyful spirit!
Let us just take a step back from the bustle before the season kicks into full swing. Try right now to reserve some time (box it out in your calendar) to pause and prepare your heart in silence for the arrival of Emmanuel (God-with-us).
Confessions of a Control Freak, Week 3
Flour & Oil
Brothers & Sisters,
This series, Confessions of a Control Freak, seems to be striking a nerve! The laughter during the homilies speaks to me, confirming my impressions, and allows me to open up and share with you. As noted, many of us can be too controlling over some aspect of our lives, or we know someone who is. The desire for control is natural, although it is good to be reminded that not all natural things are good. Snake venom, poison ivy, and tornadoes are all natural. By natural, I mean a part of our innate tendencies, although not necessarily good. Fall and restored we are in need of God’s supernatural grace!
Our theme this week centers on resources and the beautiful accounts of two widows, one from Zarephath (1K 17), and the other at the Temple Treasury (Mk 12). The Lord God shows a new way to be with limited resources through the example of the widows, all the while inviting us to grow following these examples of faith and trust.
Confessions of a Control Freak, Week 4
Growth in Mission
Happy Stewardship Sunday Everyone!
This year marks our fourth Stewardship Sunday. You may remember the very first one when we launched a mini capital campaign and concluded well over our goal with more than $85k in donations! That was a beautiful example of giving in your place of worship as an act of worship, and supporting our mission, coming out of the pandemic in 2021.
As we take stock and share wins this year, I am most proud of the endeavors our Team Members have begun or fostered. First, regarding people power: more and more members are serving each week. We continue to grow our volunteers, and we just finished renovating our new Ministry Suite this fall! Second, we started a new outreach program that we are calling LOFT (Living Out Faith Together). These are opportunities to serve, to put faith into practice in our parish and in the greater community. Third, around campus we have worked to meet the updates necessary for the Fire Inspector and have only a few more (although large) items to tackle. Fourth, the demolition of the former convent is underway, and we will need to redesign and resurface our parking lot. Fifth, we are in the process of installing a new main electrical line for the Church, not glamorous, but a long overdue upgrade. Sixth, the upcoming concert “Comfort and Joy” on December 18th at 6:30pm, long in hope and planning, is coming to fruition. There are many other examples but allow me to highlight these for now.
Confessions of a Control Freak, Week 2
Love Requires Freedom
Dear Parish Family,
Last week, Gracie and I enjoyed the fall foliage, hiking and family time at Clear Creek State Park. It is way up past Punxsutawney Phil’s hometown. No cell service, no screens, simple living, beautiful weather and God’s canvas everywhere we looked. And since I had the dog-friendly cabin, I inherited custody of Sean’s labrador Luna for the week as well. So, it was me and two dogs with more than a dozen family members in neighboring cabins!
At one moment with the family gathered around the campfire, both dogs wound their leashes around me and the chair legs, making quite a shambles! Some choice words sprang from my mouth as I tried to unscramble the mess in a huff. As I gathered myself, I noticed that a bunch of youngins had taken in the whole scene - truck driver words and all! Not my best moment. All the while I was preparing for this series - Confessions of a Control Freak - I immediately thought to myself: “Boy, sometimes I cannot even control myself!”
Confessions of a Control Freak, Week 1
The Serenity Prayer
Dear Spiritual Family,
When I was little, my two favorite words were “no” and “why?” It was an ongoing test of patience for my parents, especially my mother. When my “whys” were used up for the day, I switched to “how come?” Strong-willed and precocious, I remember having a tantrum and Mom trying to explain to me how things would not always go my way. I thought: “that sounds terrible!” Mom was happy to send me off to kindergarten early, as one of the youngest kids in the class.
As the oldest of four siblings, the family completed before I turned six, the lesson that team dynamics must predominate over personal desires became part of life! I did not like it. And I dare say that children from larger families understand this reality much better than those in which couples are merely replacing themselves for the next generation. My buddy, Tim, remarked once that things change a lot when parents must switch from man-on-man to zone.
Philly Saints - Week 3
Trials and Glory
My Dear Family,
Our time with the Philly Saints draws to a close this week, but we hope that it has served to kindle or rekindle a friendship with some of our local Saints. Please save the bulletin with information about making visits to shrines in the area. From ancient times, people journeyed by foot with prayer and fasting, begging for food and hospitality along the way, as they visited holy sites in penance and supplication. For us now, it is just a short drive away. A pilgrimage is a wonderful way to lift the spirit!
Our theme this week is trials and glory. “Those who sow in tears shall reap rejoicing,” as the Psalmist (126:5) says. The grain of wheat must fall to the ground and die, and only in so doing, it bears much fruit! (John 12:24). A pattern emerges. Those who belong to Jesus are invited to share in his suffering and death. Before Christ, human sufferings could be understood as part of a misery, the lot of a fallen world. But united in Christ, our trials gain new meaning in the glory of Easter morning. Every Good Friday is followed by Easter Sunday. Hence, our respect and fascination for the holy martyrs who like Christ, paid the ultimate price with their lives.
Philly Saints - Week 2
Freedom to Say Yes
Dear Parish,
Last week, we kicked off our Philly Saints message series, which reminded us that we are made for a forever love. Should you have missed that message, please watch last week's Mass here or review last week’s letter here.
In week two, we find ourselves at a crossroads and an invitation from Jesus. If it's a very familiar passage to you, I invite you to try and enter into it anew by imagining yourself conversing with Jesus. Put yourself at the crossroads. Perhaps the exchange with Jesus even reminds you of another key moment of decision in your life.
As a young lady, Katharine Drexel traveled West and saw the great need, including schools for Native Americans. Her heart was stirred. She asked the Pope to send missionaries, and he suggested she go. Later, Bishop O'Connor, her spiritual director, encouraged her, “I was never so sure of any vocation, not even my own, as I am of yours!” On the Feast of St. Joseph, March 19, 1889, she gathered her courage to, in her own words, “Promise Our Lord to please Him by entering fully into your plan of founding an order. As long as I look on self, I cannot. Our Lord gives and will give me the grace always to look at Him.” Her discernment unfolded over a period; she came around to understand God’s will. We notice in her words a transition not unlike the man in the Gospel. If he keeps his eyes on himself and his own possessions, then he will go away sad. But if he had managed to keep his eyes on Jesus, as Katharine committed, then he may have gained the courage to follow. Perhaps he would have eliminated that one thing that kept him from answering that stirring, which welled up in his heart and caused him to seek out the Teacher. Visit St. Katharine Drexel's Tomb at the Cathedral Basilica of St. Peter & Paul in Philadelphia, see details on flyer below.
Philly Saints - Week 1
Made for a Forever Love
My Dear Parish Family,
In Genesis, we learn that God created us in his image and likeness (1:26-27). Franciscans would invite us to imagine that as the Father shaped the mud of the earth into Adam, He gazed in love on the face of His Son, the eternal Word. The second Person serves as a muse and model for humanity, quite a stunning and humbling revelation. Hence, the logic behind Jesus’ words: “I came that they might have life and life to the full” (Jn 10:10). Each and every one of the saints is a different reflection of that fullness of life. We hope to highlight in our series - Philly Saints - many beautiful ways that close friends have shown forth with God’s glory!
In our Gospel today (Mk 10:2-16), folks come to Jesus with a tricky question: divorce. Jesus stuns His audience by undermining the authority of Moses and customary practice. He says Moses permitted divorce due to the hardness of people’s hearts but originally God designed humanity for a far more noble purpose. By hearkening us back to the beginning, Our Lord claims a teaching authority that originates at the point of creation.
